


New Beginnings

by totallyatomic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead RPF
Genre: Arguing, Best Friends, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fear, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Killing, Love/Hate, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Name-Calling, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Older Man/Younger Woman, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Pet Names, References to Depression, Violence, Walkers, Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2019-07-23 18:29:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16164449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallyatomic/pseuds/totallyatomic
Summary: Read finds a group that'll either be the death of her, or the best thing that ever graced the dead world around.





	1. A Whole New World

**Author's Note:**

> Negan has no wives, only was married Lucille when she was alive. Dwight still has a burnt face, but for a different purpose. Simon is still alive in this, as well as Dr.Carson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated- 6/13/19
> 
> I'm editing this series currently, as I think it needs some revamping.

You hid in a tree looking at the ground below you. It was just you. No one else. That was how you survived. That was how you lived. You were a traveler who traded, and went on their way.

****

You lived out of your car. It had all the necessities you needed, other than a functioning bathroom. You would find groups who’d be kind enough to let you use their facilities for some food usually. Your front passenger seat turned into storage space for food and water. The same thing went for the pockets in the seats. The glove compartment had all you hygienic needs, toothbrush/ paste, soaps, shampoos, razors, lotions, feminine needs, anything you could collect. If you found makeup or perfumes while scavenging, you’d keep it in there too, though most of it was expired.

****

The back seat acted as a bed, with minimal padding from folded blankets. The floor had 2 storage slots, shoes in one, pants in the other. Shirts and coats draped around the windows in your car. You had rigged the back seat to flip up, that's where you hid miscellaneous items and memories of the world before it turned into hell. Then your trunk....that was the coolest part. _That's where the weapons were._

****

The cool dusk shook the branches, orange and red leaves swayed next to you, but 4 pairs of yellow tinted headlights approached your way, causing you to freeze. Your black watch clad wrist read 12:04 a.m. Slowly reaching for your gun, you dared to not draw much attention to your hiding spot. You car was parked and locked on the other side of the road about 20 feet away. 

****

The 4 trucks slowly approached the quaint area. A few homes were there, but not many. You had just raided them for food only, and the book bag on your back was nearly empty.  _No bread winners today._

****

Various trucks parked, roughly 30 people jumped out, baring guns. A buff, balding man started to direct all the people.

****

“Okay" He loudly clapped his palms together. "Since we are all happily here, let's get to these houses and take whatever the hell you can carry. You know the drill. Group’s 1 and 2 you will be on the east side of the street, everyone else on the west. Dwight you stay here with me and we’ll check this car here. All walkies are on station 7. He will be here shortly so let’s get a move on it people!”

****

You thought to yourself... _who is ‘he’?_

****

The people started to disappear into different directions discreetly, trying not to attract any walkers. ‘Dwight’ and the buff guy stayed behind. You watched like a hawk as they talked, because you couldn’t make out what they were saying. They knocked on the windows and tried the door. The long blonde haired man started to raise his gun, causing you to take action.

****

“You touch my car and I swear to god I will kill you both!” You yelled from the towering tree. They both looked around for a second, raising their weapons.

****

“Come out, come out wherever you are. We won’t hurt you...well...maybe just a little” the balding man said, smirking.

****

You crawled down the tree, and their heads shot in your direction. You had your gun pointed at them, slowly approaching.

****

“What’s your name" the barrel aimed towards the mustached man.

****

“The one and only Simon, and who may you be?” He used a condescending tone of voice like you were stupid.

****

“Y/n. And that’s my car.” You walked out of the shadows, now standing face to face with these two men. It caught the attention of the 'groups', and you could hear them asking if they need to stop and evacuate over the walkies.

****

You slipped your gun in your waistband to try and deescalate the situation a little.

****

“Listen, I'm not here for trouble I'm here for trade. I have food to offer and that's all” you put your hands up to show them you didn’t want to fight.

****

“Where you from, who’s group?” Simon kept his gun pointed towards you as you spoke. He had an ugly frown, his nostrils flaring.

****

“I’m not from a group. My home is right behind you” You could see a walker coming up behind one of the trucks.

****

“Move idiots.” You whipped out your gun and shot at it, causing it to fall to the ground.

****

“Not a bad shot” Dwight looked over pointing his gun in the dead creatures direction.

****

“Why are you out here by yourself, how's a pretty girl like you surviving?” Simon was genuinely intrigued by what you said.

****

“Cause’ it’s what I do best, now what’s the deal? I don’t want any harm” you said shifting your weight to your left.

****

“I didn’t say we had a deal there” as they stood there you saw another car pull up, looked to be gray, couldn't make out the model though. The people started to flood out of the houses and kneel in a circle around you.

****

You watched as a tall man with a leather jacket stepped out of the car. There was an immediate intimidating swagger that emitted from him. Closely you watched him swing the wire covered bat he held, over his shoulder.

****

“What do we have here?” You eyed him as he walked close into your personal space.

****

“Well hello there, I’m Negan ” he said smiling. “And this is Lucille” he swung the dangerous bat.

****

His breath was hot and smelt like mint as he spoke. _  
_

****

“Listen if you guys are just gonna kill me then do it” you looked over to Simon.

****

“What’s your name doll?” he still smiled.

****

“Y/n, not doll, but great meeting you. I’m gonna tell you the same thing now, I want to just be on my way. The only thing I have to offer you, and your people is limited food.” your voice rang harsher than anticipated.

****

“Sweetheart that’s not how we fuckin’ work here. I want everyone to get in the trucks, and pack up all their shit right now. Simon and Dwight you stay here” He kept eye contact with you the whole time.

 

His already tall stature, towered over you nearly a foot, but his dominance made you feel like shying away into the ground below. Happily it was dark because you knew you were blushing. 

****

“Y/n here told me and Dwight she’d kill us. She pulled her little gun out, and waved it around like a damn trophy” Simon said to Negan, which cause him to stand up straight, backing up slightly.

****

“It’s in her waistband” Dwight pointed to it with his gun.

****

“Hand it to him, right now” Negan pointed at you, then Simon.

****

“Thanks fuckface” You put it in his hand. “What do you want from me?” You almost whispered, looking up at Negan.

****

“What's a pretty girl like you doing out here? And alone? By the looks it, your doin' pretty damn good compared to some of these duds.” he voice was low, whispering back. A smile spread across his cheeks. Your lip curled upwards at the comment.

 

"I guess I hold my own" You just stared at him, unsure as to what else to say.

****

“Simon” He threw his keys at him. “You and Dwight get in my car”. They complied, just leaving the two of you alone in front of the circle of trucks.

****

“I have something to offer you, cause hell I am impressed by your little stunts here tonight. You can come back with us to our kick ass sanctuary and work for me. You get a place to live, shower, eat. But you work for me and do as I say, otherwise there’s punishment.” You looked and saw a herd of walkers in the distance.

****

“Get in my car and I’ll follow you guys back. We need to leave now” You opened the drivers door and he held his hand out.

****

“Um I’ll drive” You said looking at his hand.

****

“That’s not the deal” His face was stern.

****

You could hear the herd coming closer. You looked between your keys and his hand. You sighed and threw the keys in his leather covered palm, climbing into the back seat.

****

“If you crash my car, I’ll kill you too” His dark eyes peered back at you from the mirror.

****

“Don’t worry doll, I’ll get us there safe and sound” A smile graced his lips as he set his weapon next to him.

****

You started to unpack the food into the seats as he drove down the asphalt road. You sat back and held your stuffed donkey next to you. You had him since you were a toddler, and you kept him with you after all this time.

****

“Why the hell are you out here all alone?” He broke the quiet air.

****

“It’s how I work best. No sense of getting close to people who are just gonna die anyways.” you stared out the window at the dead field. It seemed like everything was dead nowadays. 

****

“Why are you offering me to come back to your sanctuary” you looked back up at him.

****

“We need people like you running this shit, that's why. People can take a thing or two from you, doll.” his eyes stayed focused on the road.

****

“I keep all my stuff. That’s my deal. Including my car. No one else uses it but me.” Negan looked back again.

****

“We’ll talk about that shit, when we get there” He continued to drive for nearly an hour before you arrived at the Sanctuary.

****

He parked your car in a large garage in the back.

****

“Let me give you the grand tour” He opened your door for you, and had a cocky grin on his face. You set your donkey in your car, taking the keys from him and locking the doors.

****

“After you” He held the door open, leading you to the kitchen first. He then showed you the eating area where people would hang out, and relax when they got off from duties.

****

He then showed you the laundry room and meeting/ rec area. He lead you up 6 floors.

****

“And this...this is what would be yours” he opened the door and your eyes gobbled up the sight in front of you.

****

It had a bed, bathroom, little couch for 2, and dresser. Your window had the gardens and chicken coops outside of it. It was everything you really needed....but you didn’t feel convinced. _There had to be a catch._

 

“Where are all your guns? I know ya gotta have more than just the one Simon took.” He said as you two stood in the room.

****

_Oh, that’s the catch._

****

“In my trunk. I have a 7 of them” You turned to face him.

****

“We’ll need all of them, and half of your food ration. That’s your offer.”

****

_This place was a luxury in this day._

****

“I keep my car?” You looked out the window.

****

“It will be used by all runners” You turned around with a confused look.

****

“That doesn't sound like me"

****

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, girly. It’s all my people who run and find supplies, like they did tonight until you got in the fuckin way of that.” he started to walk towards you, invading your personal space once again.

****

“I will apologize for that, but I will not apologize for threatening those other fools. You don’t scare me” You looked directly into his eyes, not backing down. Inside you were afraid, hoping he couldn't sense that. He started to give you that same grin again.

****

“Wow. What a bad ass!” he leaned back, balancing on his bat.

****

“Do we have a deal or not?”

****

“Yes. Fine.” You started to follow him out the door, eyes drawn to his jean covered ass.

****

“Put your keys on the hooks when you’re done unpacking. I’ll have someone meet you down there to help in a minute” He began to walk away before turning on his heels for a moment. "And watch were those eyes are lookin', darlin" He enterd another room that he hadn’t showed you.

****

Flushed now by your embarrassment, you headed downstairs to your car to see Dwight standing right outside of it.

****

“Oh come on really?” 

****

“What you don’t like me?” He smiled opening your passenger door.

****

You didn’t say anything as you started to stuff everything into the duffel bags you had in your car. You watched as Dwight started to take all the food you had felt like you worked forever to acquire.

****

You then noticed he started to take well more than half your ration.

****

“What are you doing?”

****

“What do you mean?” he glanced at you, taking another box of food out.

****

“I think not, he said half of my food” You followed him as he walked to the kitchen.

****

“It's what I say is half, and your lucky he’s letting you keep anything. He probably feels bad cause he knows your fat ass would complain otherwise.”

****

That made you stop dead in your tracks. Few people were gathered around stocking, and they all stopped to look at the two of you.

****

You felt all the rage in your body go straight to his face. You looked down and he was on the ground. You heard some yelling behind you, then felt your arms being held back.

****

Starting to comeback from your thoughts, you realized Simon was on one arm and another person from the Sanctuary had the other. Then a familiar voice was in the distance.

****

“What in the hell do you think your doing?!”

****

_Oh fuck me_

****

You started to struggle in their arms as they dragged you to another bedroom on the first floor.

****

They threw you on the chair, watching over you as Negan followed behind, slamming the door shut.

****

“What the shit was that?! You've been here for 2 seconds, Have you lost your goddamn mind?!” He was screaming in your face.

****

“No one...and I mean _no one_. Calls me shit.” you emphasized the ‘T’ causing it to ring in the room.

****

He rubbed a hand on his forehead.

****

“You two go stand outside the door, right fuckin now”

****

They wandered out and Negan paced around the room.

****

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He bent down, hands holding him up on his knees.

****

“No Negan, I-” You looked at the floor to avoid his gaze.

****

“What the fuck did he do?”

****

You felt the anger literally burn inside you. They held you down like an animal, and didn't even bother to ask what happened.

****

 

A lump formed in your throat as tears started to pour from your eyes.

****

Negan got on one knee, kneeling beside you. A hand started to softly wipe tears from your blushed skin.

****

“Listen y/n, I didn't mean to yell at you like that” he now was quiet, his tone very soothing compared to only moment before.

****

He was being _nice to you_.

****

“No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off like that on Dwight. I just don't like being called names, you know? I'm sorry, I understand if-” you had your head facing the ground, staring at your converse clad feet. You hands twiddled with the sleeves of your sweatshirt. The sentence you tried spewing out was cut off.

****

“I'm gonna talk to Dwight and tell him that shit don't fly, but” he grabbed your chin with his index finger and thumb. “Don't ever fuckin' do that again, you understand me? You come to me and let me handle that shit” his brow furrowed.

****

“Yes sir, I understand” he let go and helped you to stand up. You wiped your puffy eyes, heading out the door, pushing through Simon and the other man.

****

You over heard the walkies that Dwight was needed in room 17 immediately. You went back to your car and handled your bags.

****

A few swears escaped as you carried the bags to your room on the sixth floor. Throwing them on the bed, you sighed heavily.

****

You opened the door to go back downstairs to grab your personal box of food and water. Looking at the ground below, the box was there with a little note on it.

****

_“it looked like you needed some help with your stuff, but I didn't want to bother you so I just brought it up here. See ya around!_ _-Robin”_

****

You gave a genuine smile. it felt like someone was looking out for you for the first time, in a long time.

****

You shuffled the box in, placing it on the dresser. You stared at the piles in front of you, then over to the clock. _2:21 a.m._

****

You moved the bags to the couch and started unpacking what you needed tonight. You made a mental checklist of what you needed to do tomorrow morning.

****

You forgot to put the keys on the hook downstairs. Walking through the dark hallways, you kept trying to gather how many people were actually here. Reaching the garage, it appeared no one else was there. You placed your keys on the hooks, and scavenged around to see what was in the large room, simply out of curiosity.

****

Not much more than old parts for cars. Your feet brought felt light as they ran upstairs. You saw a few men in the hallway, before you disappeared into the new;y acquired room.

 

* * *

 

The next morning woke you by the sun shining through your window. Gripping the comfortable sheets below, a sigh escaped. Dragging yourself to the bathroom you explored around, find an extra bottle of body wash. The fact the appliances were in good condition was shocking. It wasn't hard to tell this bathroom didn't always reside there, but hell, there's nothing wrong with that. Turning the silver nod, the water beads started to coat your skin.

****

_The water is actually hot._

****

The steam fill the bathroom, muscles relaxed, it truly felt like a sanctuary in that moment.

****

You made the bed and placed the bags on top of the covers, finding an outfit. You folded all your clothes and placed them inside the top & middle drawers. All hygienic needs inside the shower and medicine cabinet in the bathroom. All the shoes fit under the open slot at the bottom of the dresser. You left the food and water in the box, and placed it next to the couch.

****

The last bag made you smile. It was filled with music, movies, books. You took most of your art supplies with you from home.

****

_What used to be your home at least._

****

You wanted to display your collections so you unpacked it onto the top of the dresser.

****

_There has to be wood and nails around here somewhere. I'll just make some shelves._

****

With that thought you heard a knock on your door. You opened it to see an older lady, with long blonde hair. She smiled at you and stuck out her hand.

****

“Hiya, I'm Robin” her voice was hoarse, sounding like a heavy smoker.

****

“Hey I'm y/n. Are you the Robin who helped me with my stuff last night?” you stood back letting her in.

****

“Yeah I saw you and Dwight in the kitchen, figured you needed some help settling in. I hope I didn't bother you too much.” she laughed and leaned against the cherry wood dresser.

****

You closed the door and sat on your bed, stuffing all the bags into the biggest one.  “No you didn’t bother me at all, I appreciate it” You shoved the bag under your bed.

****

“So...I'm here to give you the rundown of what happens around here honey. I've been here since this place had 10 people in it, so if anyone's gonna tell you how things work, it's gonna be me. We have lots of people who do different things around here. Did Simon tell you what you would be doing yet?”

****

“No but I have a feeling I'll be going out looking for supplies”

****

“Usually they'll assign you to what you do best, you feel me? So some of the other positions, incase you ever wanted to switch, are gardeners, groomers, chefs, organizers. Sometimes they’ll make new positions for people so the process keeps moving.” She smiled. “It’s a good place as long as everyone does their job. Otherwise Negan can be...Negan”

****

You pondered on her statement for a second.

****

“What does he do?” you asked, tilting your head.

****

“Well....You know there are rules that still have to be followed, aside from working. So when people break those rules, Negan has been known to burn people, torture them. He's even killed em'. Those are the people who do heinous things. He can be extreme, but it seems to be just enough” She folded her arms.

****

“Is that why Dwight has that scar on his face?” the question was hushed, as if he was in the room with you two.

****

“Yeah. Dwight, uh.” she paused for a moment “Dwight wanted to take over Negan’s position, after his wife ran off. He wanted to play leader. Went behind Negan’s back and tried creating this plan to demolish everything we built here. Negan almost killed him. He thought the burn, and leaving him in a cell for a few weeks would straighten him out.”

****

You heard another knock at the door.

****

_“Wakey Wakey”_ you heard the voice say through the door.

****

You opened it from your spot, to see Simon standing on the other side.

****

“Well hello you two” He walked in with a big goofy grin, closing the door behind him.

****

“Just coming to give you orders. Negan said he wants you to help lead one of our groups. We take 2 to 4 out every run we do. Because you’re just starting, you’ll get about 4 people in your group. You take anything you can carry when we scavenge, unless told otherwise. We’re going out this afternoon at three. You report downstairs at 2. Got it?”

****

“Yeah. I’ll see you at two.” your lips formed a thin line, remembering the events from the night previous. He gave the same look back, walking out.

****

“Everyone here is talking about you, you know that?” Robin said, turning her attention back.

****

“Really? Why's that?” groaning as you stood from the mattress.

****

She laughed and patted your shoulder.

****

“Just cause Hun. You’re gonna fit in just fine here. Do you want me to get you some breakfast? We have fresh fruit and pancakes?” she started to make her way to the door.

****

“That would be excellent actually. Thank you. I’ll meet you downstairs in a few” you smiled wide and she told you she’d see you.

****

After she closed the door, you headed to the bathroom. You kept your hair down, but just clipped a part of it to the side so it wouldn’t be in your face. You put some lotion on before you headed downstairs.

****

Getting no more than 10 feet out the door, you heard someone call your name.

****

_Can this asshole not._

****

“Yes Dwight?” swinging around to look at him.

****

“I wanted to say I'm sorry for last night, I was out of line” 

****

“I only hit you because you deserved it. Thanks though D” You turned back around and headed downstairs.

****

He mumbled something under his breath, but it wasn’t worth your time to ask for an explanation.

****

Robin was sitting at a table with a few other woman. They seemed to be the 'senior' crowd.

****

“Hey there she is! Ladies this is y/n, she is the girl they brought home last night”

****

The older ladies grinned and waved you over. They all wanted to hug you, some quietly congratulated you on the successful slap in the kitchen.

****

Your plate consisted of strawberries and blueberries with some maple syrup over pancakes.

****

Your mouth watered as you took the first few bites, remembering what a home cooked meal is supposed to taste like.

****

The table chatted and mingled quietly as you got to know one another. A silence fell upon the room and the people around started to kneel. You felt Robin tug on your arm dragging you down to the floor. You looked up and feet away, Negan stood tall over the room.

****

“You have to kneel when he enters the room, he'll tell you when to stand” she leaned in and whispered.

****

“Good mornin’ Saviors!” He leaned back and smiled. “Today. Well today is gonna be a busy day for every damn person in this room. You all will be on top of your game or else, let me tell you, there will be hell to pay. We have a big fuckin load comin’ in this evening, and all hands will be helping.” he looked down at you and pointed his Lucille in your direction. “Stand up darlin”

****

Hesitantly, you stood up in your place.

****

“Group 3. This is your new leader. This ladies and gents, is miss y/n. Make sure you give her a warm welcome, and if I hear that any one of you are not doing exactly what she says, Lucille would love to have a little talk with you” He chuckled and threw the bat over his shoulder.

****

“All of you get back to what the hell you were doing” Everyone started to get up and disperse, you stood there and watched Negan, mesmerized by his smiled.

****

His eyes drifted back to meet your’s, and his tongue slicked across his lips. His eyebrows lifted as he stood over you.

****

“Well good morning darlin, sleep tight?” His smile remained on his face, his voice rang low in your ears.

****

“Yes I did actually, thank you. What do you need me to do today?” you watched his face, and saw a shift in his eyes. He was hard to read, even though you felt like he could read anyone like a book.

****

“It should be easy enough. You tell these people what to do, and they most certainly mother fuckin will do it. If they don’t...you let me know. Eat up now, doll.” he patted your shoulder, and walked away. You felt someone tug your hand, obviously trying to drag you somewhere.

****

“Y/n honey, I need to talk to you right now” you could hear the anxiousness in Robin's voice.

****

“Yeah what’s up?” She smiled softly at you, but had worry written all over her face.

****

“Listen this might sound strange, but like I said before. I’ve been here forever, and I know Negan better than most.” She rubbed her chin and stared at the ground.

****

“W-what is it? Does he not like me or-.” You leaned against the wall behind you and put your hands in your pockets.

****

“I think he likes you.” She looked up and put her soft hands on your shoulders.

****

“Good, I hope he likes me.” You said laughing a bit, noting you wanted to do good for him.

****

“No I don’t think your understand...I think he _likes_ you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading!


	2. Paint Me a Picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This does have some graphic details.
> 
> Updated: 6-15-19

 

“L-likes me?” The stiffness grew through your bones. A lump formed in your throat.  _What does he see in me?_

****

“I mean y/n, the way he just stared at you, did you not see that?” her face puzzled.

****

“I -I don't know. Maybe? I haven't had much in the men's department” shrugging your shoulders in a helpless fashion.

****

All words shared, ceased as Simon rushed in your direction.

****

“Here’s your radio. All of Negan’s top folks have these on them at all times. We use them to communicate emergencies and orders. The only time this thing goes off is when the batteries. We use station 3, unless you are told otherwise. Understand?” His eyebrows lifted, causing his forehead to wrinkle harshly.

****

“Yeah I got it” swiping the walkie from his hand, you clipped it to the loop in your waistband. His footsteps grew further in the distance, Robin quickly continued.

****

“You don’t know about his late wife, do you?”

****

“A _late_ wife? I never even knew he was married.” You pulled two storage bins from the corner of the room, flipping them on their tops to act as seats.

 

“His wife...Her name was Lucille. She became seriously ill before...This" her wrinkled fingers waved around the room. "They had some marital issues.” she tried to find the right words, not to sugar coat the situation. “He cheated on her. She ended up dying, and in the whole scheme of things, ended up becoming one of _them_. He felt like an asshole after it ended.”

****

Your heart saddened for the dead woman you've never met.

****

“It destroyed Negan, really, he still hurts, but he just can’t say it because he’s ‘the big man now’. The only thing he has left now is that damn bat he named after her.” Rob pulled out a cigarette. You watched the tip of the tobacco stick glow from the orange lighter flame, the gray smoke lingered in the air. "I'm not sayin' this to scare ya kid, you should just know the facts."

****

“How do you know all this?” You leaned in as some people passed in the hallway.

****

“When it was smaller, Negan would talk to me one-on-one. He always would come to me if he was having a rough day, just because I would sit there and listen to him. You could have called me his therapist.” She took another drag before throwing it on the ground and stomping on it.

****

“I know deep down he’s a good guy, just trapped in a crappy position” with that she stood.

****

“I’ll see you later, okay? Good luck on your first day” Her smile caused her skin to crinkle, deepening the crows feet around her eyes.

****

You held back for a moment, processing what was just blurted from her. Fumbling with the boxes, you set them where they were originally placed, and headed to what Negan called the 'supplies closet', the night previous. 4 pieces of black wood laid against the concert wall.

****

You snatched them as another drawer read ‘screws’, only inches away. Counting a handful, you shoved them in your pocket with a questionably rusted screwdriver.

****

As you started back upstairs, the conversation dwelled upon your mind again.

****

_There's a chance he thinks I'm attractive. He had a wife who he cheated on, she was sick and ended up dying. This is a lot to take in, in less than 24 hours._

 

A part of you felt bad for Negan, he clearly regretted his choices, at least by Robin's words he did.

 

You made it to your room, laying the wood on the ground. One-by-one you placed the shelves right about the lighter contrasted dresser.

****

Caught in your thoughts, the work flew by, and soon you were locking them into place on the wall. A step back revealed neatly aligned shelving units.

 

 

They began to fill quickly with old CD's and Books from your former life. The 2 bottom shelves stacked with art supplies. The work wasn't admired long as a voice broke on the radio.

****

“We need all groups to the garage, we’re preparing for raiding a local compound within the next hour. Get your asses down here.” Simon’s voice echoed through the crackling speaker.

****

Shoes on, you slipped downstairs with the keys, then outside, finding all the men and women who were gearing cars and trucks for the run. 3 people from the crowd started in your direction.

****

“Hey, Y/n, right? I’m Leo, and that’s Nick n' Bow. We were told we’re gonna be in your group from now on.” His hand bounced from himself to the man then woman.

****

“Hi, It’s nice meeting you all. Um, I guess because we have a smaller vehicle compared to the trucks, I think we should be able to grab smaller items. What do you guys usually grab when you go out on runs?”

****

“Shouldn’t you know since you’re commanding us?” Your look shot over to the young man.

****

“Excuse me?”

****

He huffed walking back to the gray building that towered over.

****

“I’m sorry about Nick, he acts like that pretty often. Kinda nice to know its not just us. I’m Bow.” she waved her hand. “When we take the cars, we end up taking clothes, food, weapons, and small furniture.”

****

“Okay cool. Is there anything else we need other than a few boxes?” You hit the unlock button as they shook their heads no in agreement. Cardboard boxes were tossed in the trunk as Nick came rushing back.

****

 

“Are you ready to go, do you have your weapons on you?” questioning the young man, you could tell he was only slightly above you in age.

****

“Why wouldn’t I come prepared?” His arms folded as he peered down at you.

****

“Listen, if you’re gonna have some kinda fucking attitude with me, you’re not gonna like the end results, asshole. Go ask Dwight he'll tell you all about it" you spat, moving toe-to-toe with him.

****

“Well you could just run n' tell Negan again” He chuckled and your annoyance grew. Turning away, you sighed climbing in the car, the group following your actions.

****

“Actually, no Nick. I will pleasantly take it upon myself to kill you with my bare hands. I wouldn’t test me.” 

****

His smiled quickly dwindled in the rear view mirror, and was replaced with an angry expression written across his face. 

****

The garage door closed, the last of the people shuffling out. You watched as Negan sauntered behind them, wearing that same leather jacket. You saw his leather clad hand scratch his beard, quickly replacing it with a radio.

****

Everyone on the ground level kneeled, and looked up at the man above.

****

“Well hello everybody" his pearly whites glistened from the beaming sun above. "We have only 4 hours until sun down, so tonight, we are gonna work fast and proficiently, no exceptions for screwin' around" His voice raised, as he continued the lecture. “There will be not one single fucking person standing around doing nothin’, and if i see you doing nothin', you can be sure i’ll be making your ass work nice n’ hard for the next few weeks.” he smiled as his eyes scanned over the caged walkers to the left side of him. “Get the hell outta here" Everyone got up and dispersed to either their assigned vehiclesor back inside.

 

“I have the directions in case we lose the group.” Leo held up a sheet of paper.

****

“Good, thank you. Everyone have everything they need before we leave?” two replied yes. You looked in the mirror, staring at Nick, waiting for anything.

****

“Alright let’s go.” you pulled out and started to follow the white moving trucks ahead.

 

* * *

****

After a painfully quiet thirty minute car ride, you arrived at the old, abandoned facility. Never has you seen people work so quickly on emptying buildings of living and inanimate objects. 

****

You stalked an upstairs closet for a moment. Slowly approaching the door, rotten fingers reached through the crack.

****

Leo had followed into the room, as Bow and Nick stayed behind to collect food.

****

A quick nod to Leo, and you opened the door.

****

A walker stumbled out and started snapping in his direction. He shot his revolver, and the bullet struck its soft skull. The starved body collapsed to the ground.

****

“I guess they forgot there was an upstairs.” you chuckled and looked up into the closet.

****

You saw, what you thought was a pile of wood. As you reached up to pull it down, you realized exactly what it was.

****

“Oh wow, how nice” You pulled the easel down, smiling a bit. It was built for very small canvas'.

****

Leo came over and started to yank two boxes that were sitting on the shelf. He placed them on the ground, opening them. Glancing over his shoulder, it occurred to you they were filled with brushes and oil pastels.

****

It brought memories of previous life. The paintings that covered your art studio, highlighting the walls with vivid, lively scenes. Quiet the contrast from the dull world surrounding now.

****

_Those were the good ol' days._

****

The once bare truck was now packed to the brim with useful and useless items. You Jumped right in, starting to help the men move furniture. It was nothing you tremendous, and you ended up making some friends along the way.

****

Three hours had come and gone. The compound was completely cleared, and the trucks were full, with an hour to spare. Negan gathered everyone, telling them to pack up and head home.

****

As the groups started towards their cars, you felt your side and realized your walkie was upstairs. You ran back inside to the little room you and Leo cleared earlier that afternoon. As you reached for the walkie, a sudden tug at the waist caused you to drop it onto the concrete below. You watched the black bits of plastic scatter across the floor, your mouth was being covered by a large hand.

****

After elbowing the stranger their grip became stronger, and they weren’t planning to let you go.

****

“I’m never gonna take orders from some chick who thinks she knows the way we work around here.”

****

He uncovered your mouth so he could get a better hold on your squirming body.

****

“Nick, why do this? I can just get Negan to move you to someone else’s group.” You tried pleading.

****

“I don’t want that sweetie. You see all those people leaving in those trucks out there? There’s not going to be a Negan to run to now. Just you and me.”

****

You felt him rip the car keys out of your back pocket. You tried screaming, but he covered your mouth again.

****

“You think that’s gonna help you? That’s hilarious”

****

Nick fumbled around for a moment, the realization hit that your knife was in your jean pocket

****

A sharp pain plastered on your right side. The first instinct was to grab it, but you couldn’t due to his hold. The side of your body grew warm rapidly.

****

_“What the shit?!”_

_**** _

His tight grip released, and your knee's felt weak as you grabbed at your side. Blood coated your shaky palm.

****

You peaked over and saw Negan's fingers wrapped around Lucille, and in a few tough swings brains scattered the linoleum floor. 

 

Tears fell from pain, and anger, but you managed to stand up.

****

“We need the doctor to be on alert for us to come back” Negan’s voice raspy as he spoke into the radio.

****

His eyes met your worried ones, and his attention turned to you.

 

"How the fuck did this happen, doll?" His dropped next to you, crouching.

****

“Grab the keys in his hand” Negan gathered them, stuffing them in his pocket. "I let my damn guard down, that's what." He came back putting an arm around your waist to stabilize you. The yells of men echoed everywhere, asking what happened.

****

“Fucking asshole stabbed her” the once easy trip up the stairs became painfully hard going the opposite direction. “Simon, move the rest of her group into a truck” He nodded and walked briskly outside. 

****

Negan hobbled with you until you reached the dirty beige car. He opened the door for you, settling you in before throwing his bat on the backseat floor. He reached the drivers side, igniting the vehicle.

****

“You’re gonna be okay babydoll, I already know your bad ass can handle it” His eyes studied over you. “Keep putting pressure on that wound” he speed down the empty highway.

****

“Why the fuck did he do this to you?” He looked between you and the road.

****

“Because he didn’t want to take orders f-from someone new” you turned, laying on your left side.

 

"Why the hell didn't you come get me? I recall giving _you_ an order to do so if anyone gave you shit, yeah?" his tone became harsh. It wasn't that you didn't want to, you just didn't wanna look like teachers pet.

 

"I'm not gonna run to you every time some has an attitude. I can handle myself." you spat back. 

 

"Really? Cause it looks to me like someones got a gash on there side, Baby girl." 

 

That name made your heart skip a beat. Gathering yourself, you decided it would benefit to save the words you truly felt.

****

Before you knew it, you were back at your new found home. Negan jumped out, grabbing Lucille, coming to your aid.

****

As you limped inside you were met by the Sanctuary doctor.

****

“Hi y/n I’m Dr.Carson, Where were you punctured?” He rushed with clean towels for you to use.

****

“Right side, above hip” You lifted your bloody, stiffened shirt, but it was hard to make out from the red that surrounded.

****

“Follow me”

****

Negan and Dr.Carson escorted you to the ‘Doctors room’. You laid down on the examination table, Carson grabbed gauze to start cleaning the affected area.

****

“Good thing is” he threw soaked gobs of away “This isn’t life threatening, from what I can see of course. It’s about a half inch deep, and the gash is long so you will need stitches, but otherwise you should be fine. If you experience any problems, let me know.”

****

Relief filled you as Carson prepared the stitches. Negan stood in the corner, watching over you the whole time.

****

After a few minutes of excruciating pain, he finished up your stitches and gave you some painkillers with antibiotics so no infections would form.

****

“Thanks Doc, I appreciate it” a small yelp came from you as you jumped from the table. Negan came to your aid after that.

****

The two of you walked out together, and headed upstairs. 

****

“If you don't mind me askin', why did you name you bat Lucille” You pointed to the bloody bat that occupied his other hand. Even though the answer was something you knew, you wanted to hear him say it.

****

“She _was_ my wife.” he gaze remained straight. “I was an ass to her, she deserved better than me.” the two of you approached your room. 

****

“We all make mistakes” you tried comforting him from the raw statement. It made you reflect on the fact he probably didn't have many moments like this with others.

****

“Shower and get changed outta those clothes doll. Then get your pretty ass in bed, need to rest up.” you giggled at his remark.

 

"Okay daddy I will." you joked and saw a grin spread across his cheeks, his tongue darting out across his lips.

 

You stumbled in, the effect of the painkiller coming into good use. The lamp dimly illuminated the room, and you got a good look at your shirt and pants.

****

_This is gonna be fun getting out._

****

Removing the pills from your pocket, you placed them on top of the dresser. You put your hair up, and stripped, getting in the shower. You brought the bloody clothes in with you, scrubbing out what you could. After hanging them over the shower rod, you began to wash yourself.

****

Moments past and you finished, grabbing a pair of sweats with a t-shirt. You took your hair out of a bun, and replaced it with a headband.

****

As you were cleaning up the bathroom, you heard a heavy knock on your door.

****

“Who is it?” you sang, fully expecting Robin to answer.

****

The door handle turned, and Negan walked in with a plate of food.

****

“I think you at least deserve a damn meal darling.” You scanned over the plate and saw chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn. Your eyes flickered to him, seeing that he had also gotten cleaned up.

****

You tucked your hair behind your ears, and smiled.

****

_God damn nervous ticks._

****

“Thank you very much, very kind of you” your voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

****

He moved closer to you, gazing down at your face.

****

“Nervous bout something sweetheart?” a small smile danced across his lips.

****

“No. Are you?” You smiled with the raise of a brow.

****

“Never”

 

You both stood there for a moment gazing at one another before you broke the silence.

****

“Do you wanna have dinner with me? Just in here, and we can hang out. I mean only if you’re not busy or anything. I mean if you are its totally fine, I'm just a little-” you kept rambling.

****

“Yeah doll, why the fuck not? I’ll be back in a few.” He walked out patting the door frame on the way. You heard him say hi to Robinfrom the hall.

****

She rushed in and shut the door behind her, leaning against it with wide eyes. For a woman her age, she was very young at heart.

****

“Is this a date? Are we makin progress?” she was smiling, an opposite of what she looked like this morning.

****

‘I don’t know, I think it’s just a friend thing right now. I mean we only did meet about a day ago." you smiled and blushed a bit. "Are we taking things to fast?"

****

“Well like you said hun, if y'all are only friend then it shouldn't be a big deal, right?” she winked and you giggled a bit, causing your side to hurt. She saw you flinch a little. Damn painkiller wasn't as good as you thought.

****

“That’s what I was really stopping by for” she pointed to your side “Are you okay? Nick's always been kind of a dick, but it was only a matter of time."

****

“He said I should be fine for the most part. I’m on antibiotics, and painkillers, nothin' crazy. Its gonna leave a scar, but it wouldn’t be the first time.” 

****

“Well that’s good. At least you aren’t dead, kid. Good luck with your date” She laughed, and started on her way out the door.

****

You went to your box of food, and pulled out two bottles of water. The door creaked and Negan slipped in.

****

“Here, sit down” You sat on the couch, and patted the spot next to you. You set your plate on your lap and started to eat, positioning so you could face him.

****

He strolled over and plopped down next to you. He grabbed the water from you, and set it on the floor next to him.

****

“I gotta know, why the hell you’d invite me to have dinner with you?” he examined your face for an answer.

****

You took a bite of your mashed, the warmth coating your throat. “Maybe because I wanted to talk, get to know you. You and Robin have really been the only ones I've spoke with, aside from a few of the guys. I really hope I'm not taking away from any business, I mean if you have to go at any time feel free.” The words kept flooding from your mouth, fingers nervously brushing your hair behind your ear.

****

He smiled a bit, and sucked on his teeth. “Well shit darlin, relax a little. Ain't takin' away from anything. How's that side of your's, you looked like hell back there." he concern was present.

 

"It hurts, like expected. I'm just mad that idiot took my damn knife so now i only have one." you huffed, looking over at Negan's plate. He had the same main dish as you, but he had freshly steamed carrots.

 

"You guys have carrots?" his eyes met yours.

 

"Fuck yeah we have carrots. Here." You genuinely laughed at his remark. Poking the metal into the soft veggie, you took a bite throwing your head back. "Shit, if I knew it was gonna make you do all that I would have given sooner." A heat spread across your face, as a little giggle escaped at his inappropriate comment.

 

"I love carrots, I haven't had any in years. Literally." a few minutes past as you both finished your food. "What's it like running this place?" you questioned. 

****

 

“A fucking breeze, Baby girl. I have zero tolerance for stupidity. People are a resource. People will either be apart of the problem, or the solution. And if you don't wanna follow the rules, then there's punishment. Follow them, and you will be rewarded, after gettin' enough points of course." his leather clad hand waved as he spoke.

 

"Points?" No one mentioned those details. You couldn't blame them, it's probably just a habit by now.

 

"Points, we use 'em for Meds, extra food, down time, recreational use, shit like that. Like those pills you're taking, that's a good two weeks full of hard ass labor, and I'm only letting it slide because you made a hell of an entrance. Fighting will get those points taken away too, so watch yourself darlin'." his wink made your heart strain against your chest.

 

"Thanks for that, really. I'm sure I'll be able soon." you winced when you adjusted on the cushions. His eyes watched carefully.

 

"What's your story?" his limbs spread on the arm, and back of the couch, his hand nearly touching your shoulder on the two-seater sofa.

 

“I was an artist. Sometimes I would teach classes or do art therapy with kids. It’s what helped me express my feelings as a young adult, so I thought I might as well help others too. I loved every second of it, wouldn't have traded it for the world. I guess I would now, huh.” You looked down at the empty plate on your lap. “What about you?”

****

“I was a gym teacher for a bunch of sweaty teenagers. Not that I necessarily fuckin' liked my job, I don’t miss a damn second of it. I always had to be up those kids asses, but it straightened them out.” you chuckled.

 

"Kinda like what you do now, but with adults" that earned a low laugh from him.

****

The two of you sat there for a few silent seconds before Negan spoke.

****

“Y/n, I don’t want you going out on any runs until you get those stitches out. Understand?”

****

Your head shot up. “What am I supposed to do? I want to help because you have already helped me so much.” you tried pleading.

****

“I don’t think it’s safe for the time being, and it's a damn order. You will stay in your room, and do small tasks, but nothing to straining. I don’t need you fuckin hurt worse than you already are”

****

You looked in his eyes and saw that same glimpse that occurred only hours before. The same way he looked at you on that cold exam table.

****

You nodded, not disagreeing with him in the slightest. You knew he was right, and some extra rest wouldn’t hurt.

****

“Well can i start with dish duty?” You took his plate from his hands and stacked it on top of yours.

****

“You can start with getting your ass in bed doll.” he took the plates back and stood up from the couch. He placed the empty water bottles on top of them.

****

“Thanks for having dinner with me Negan. We’ll have to do it again.” you smiled and moved from the couch to the bed.

****

“It’s not a damn problem darlin” he started to head out the door “Goodnight”

****

The door clicked shut behind. It wasn’t soon after you found yourself fast asleep.

****

You thought at one point during the night you heard the door open in your room, but you were too exhausted to determine if it actually happened, or if it was just your imagination from medication.

****

The next morning, a small wave a pain moved up your right side. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and sat up.

****

Your heart stopped for a moment as you noticed something by the door.

****

_The wooden art easel._

****

You tossed your legs over the side of the bed, and briskly moved towards it, limping the whole way. A small note sat laid on the stand.

****

_“Paint me a picture”_

****

Heart pumping against your chest, you opened the wooden door to your room. Frantically your head turned look through the hallway. A familiar voice echoed to your left.

 

“Good mornin' there, doll" he leaned back with that shit eating grin, Lucille resting on his shoulder.

****

You stood up and grabbed Negan’s salt and peppered scruffy cheeks, crashing your lips into his. 

****

Standing back you inhaled sharply, looking at him. That grin grew back, his face only inches away from your's.

****

“I am about 50% more into you now”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


	3. He's a Rebel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little shorter than usual. Hope you like it.

Negan's eyes drifted over to the door, then back at you. He leaned Lucille against the beat dresser.

 

“Well I must say I am surprised, princess” he bit the inside of his lip, and shifted closer to your body. The feeling of heat covered your face.

 

_Princess._

 

“I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean to be so upfront, It's just no one cares about art now, why would they? A-and if I was to quick-” you retracted feeling small, compared to his tall stature.

 

His leather gloved hand grasped your chin, shushing your panicked mumbles.  His gray gaze met yours, his breath tickling your nostrils.

 

“You have some beach ball sized lady nuts, and I love that. I mean, hell I thought you were a lil' spitfire before.” his tongue wet his bottom lip.“Me and you are gonna have a little chat tonight, but for now, there's work to be done.” You nodded as a kiss landed on your forehead from the older man. “See ya later, Baby doll” he strolled out, Lucille flung over his shoulder.

 

Your heart pulsed so hard, the twitching could be seen through your shirt.

 

_He tasted fresh, his sent was musky, a mix of smoke and leather with a pinch of cologne._

 

Staring at your art shelves, only small canvas’ remained due to the fact they were easy to travel with. Inspiration was lacking from your new distraction. Grabbing three 4x4’s, taking earth tones with them, an idea sprung to life. _Life_. A few colors needed a boost, but a few irritated swears seemed to do the trick as they poured onto the chipped plastic pallet that was approaching 7 years old. A paper cup of water sat on the tray of the easel, and your brush began to dance.

 

* * *

 

 

The landscape appeared lively, with tall grass of green. The leaves budded on the tree’s, The river remained motionless.  Spring skies were a rich shade of blue. The sky still read a paler color than the water below. Sunshine laid over the land, feeding the blooming yellow flowers. Clouds reminded you of cotton candy, and the Wildlife roamed free. A bridge crossed over the land, connecting them together as one. 

 

_The world could live in harmony, if we all worked together as one, a wise man once said._

 

The picture smoothly transitioned, as putting them together created one beautiful tale. _This is what life used to look like_. It was small and subtle, enough to help your mind and nerves escape the stressful world around. The rumble of your stomach stole your calm mindset away instantly. Eyes drifting to the clock, you hadn’t realized breakfast and lunch had passed. A snack seemed like the only acceptable option to satisfy your hunger.

 

Padding downstairs, you obtained a fruit bowl from chef Michael, then headed back upstairs to take your medicine. You sighed at the realization this fruit bowl just cost your whole breakfast AND lunch.

 

A dirt-covered Robin met you with a smile when you reached your rooms entrance.

 

“What's going on girly, haven't seen you all day” her hands rested on her hips, hair pulled in a messy ponytail, faintly showing her sweating skin.

 

“I have a secret, come in” you shuffled in, propping the door with your foot. A dramatic gasp filled the room.

 

“I love these, did you do this?” she was bent over the drying picture.

 

“yeah, I did” you rubbed the back of your neck after setting down the fruit, apprehensively walking over. You pulled out the meds, swallowing them down with a bottle of water.

 

“that's incredible y/n, it livens up the place. Literally.” she stood back, crossing her limbs with a chuckle.

 

“Well I'm happy I got my message across. Aside from that, I should tell you something. because I feel wrong for doing it.” You lifted a finger and pointed it in her direction “and this stays between you and me”

 

“It’s not like i’m gonna tell the old folks home what’s going on kid, what’s up?” her left eyebrow lifted.

 

“I kissed him.” you spat out softly.

 

“Oh my gosh, really? Why feel guilty?” her once folded arms now met her sides as she leaned into you.

 

“Yeah, I know. I'm just overthinking, I guess.” you ate a grape, continuing “I get this feeling of...comfort when i’m with him. He makes me feel so protected...so _wanted_." You hesitated for a moment, wondering if the information you just shared was to personal.

 

“Good.” she sat with her hands buried in her jean pockets, but she didn’t look discouraged.

 

“Good? You don’t think i’m insane?” You face scrunched with worry. "I mean, I've only known him for a matter of days." 

 

“I think it’s human nature to feel wanted. He cares about you, even if its in his twisted way. He’s going to protect something he cares about at all costs. I know it’s not been a long time, but I think there's somethin' between you two. Stop me if I'm wrong, but does he make you feel happy, right?" a small bob of the head made her continue. "Something tells me the both of you might need a little happiness.” her wrinkled lips smiled. “Go for it Y/n, and see where it takes you. The worst that could happen is, it falls apart."

 

Robin was the only person you trusted here, aside from Negan. Reason being, she gave solid advice and didn't bullshit.

 

“I’ll take your word for it. We’re planning on talking tonight so i’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow” you finished your fruit and put the empty bowl on the nightstand.

 

As she left, dusk soon found the sky, and the call for dinner was put out. Staring out to the crops below, you cringed at how depressing they were.  _They look like they could us a little love_

 

His energy radiated through the door as a cheery knocked graced it. Opening gently, you peered up to see a shaven Negan.

 

“Hello darlin, may I come in?” His eyes stared deep into yours.

 

“Yeah, sure.” you stood back, allowing him to enter.

 

He rested Lucille against the cushioned seating, plopping down with arms spread on the back of the couch. You touched the paintings, determining they were fully dry. Carrying them with you to the couch, your legs crossed as you faced him.

 

“Here, these are for you” holding the trio for him to take.

 

He held them carefully, putting the pieces collectively in his lap.

 

“Oh damn. That’s fuckin cool." his head turned to you "I must say, I am impressed” Negan reviewed, making you smile and shrug your shoulders.

 

“Thanks, I was hoping you’d like it” you felt the heat rush to your cheeks, making you flush.

 

He gathered them, placing them in the next to his bat. He shrugged off his leather coat, and threw it on the foot of your bed. Clearing his throat, he looked over at you, arm resting back into the same position as before. He looked very... _open._

 

“After I have had some time to think about your little kiss you gave me this morning, I’ve come up with an offer for you.”

 

You could feel the tightening in your chest, heart racing. It felt like the damn beat was gonna kill you.

 

“I like you y/n, and you’re damn good at everything you do, Plus, you’re smokin’ hot” His eyes stayed connected with your's, causing you to bite the inside of your lip. “I think it would be best if me and you have some alone time” he grinned, running his tongue across his lower lip.

 

You felt your hair being twirled between his fingers. “How about we go to my room tonight darlin', I can have Mike cook us a nice meal, we could relax” 

 

“Um, yeah. That sounds fun.”  with that he stood up, and grabbed your hand, helping you balance yourself.

 

"Follow me, Doll" 

 

The two of you stepped out, and walked up two more flights of stairs to his bedroom. He wasn't very shy about keeping his hand in your's as he dragged you behind, complementing kneels in the process.

 

The room was dark, and neatly decorated. Walking over to the black leather couch you ran your hand across the back. Moving over to the windows that had dark blinds hanging around them. Negan's voice was over the radio, telling Michael dinner orders. You looked at the shelves where his knickknacks resided, smiling at the record collection.

 

You picked up a random piece, carefully slipping it out of its pocket. Switching the player on, you set the record in and moved the needle to the first groove in the vinyl. Women's voices began to fill the room.

 

“I haven't heard this album in years. It was definitely a favorite" your eyes spun with the disc. It  _was_ a favorite, no so much of your's, but your mom's.

 

“Fuck yeah it is” he grinned watching you, following your every move. His presences was felt behind you as an arm snaked around you softly, leading you to the leather cushions. 

 

The words rang in your ears, piercing your heart.

_He's a rebel and he'll never ever be any good_

_He's a rebel cause he never ever ever does what he should_

_But just because he doesn't do what everybody else does_

_That's no reason why I can't give him all my love_

 

He sat across from you on the armchair.

 

“How’s your side feeling?” his hand waved to where the stabbing occurred.

 

“It’s okay, I guess. Just kinda hurts when I do certain movements” you sat up, and lifted your shirt to where the stitched wound was. The area surrounding was now black and blue.

 

“That dumb fuck should of been out a long time ago.” Negan's tone shifted as he clearly was getting worked up.

 

“I’m not to worried about it. Seems like someone already had my ass covered” You pulled down your shirt and gave a shy smile in his direction.

 

“You are damn straight princess” Negan stood up and walked over to you as the next track played.

 

“Care to dance?” he grinned down and held out a hand. Your hand wrapped around his, arm around his waist, and he did the same. The two of you slowly started to sway with the rhythm.

 

“I-I might be terrible at this, I've never danced like this” you frowned in embarrassment.

 

“I'll teach you Princess, not that fuckin' big of a deal.” he tucked some hair behind your ear, making you blush. Nervousness filled your brain as your heart thumped faster. "Just follow my lead. And relax, you're shaking like a damn leaf, girl." you mumbled a small sorry, causing him to hush you. You stayed like that for a moment before a knock ruined the moment.

 

"Shit, sorry darling. What the hell do you want?" the door cracked enough for Mike to stick his head through.

 

"Did I say open the fuckin' door?" Negan's touch dissipated as he faced the young chef.

 

"N-no sir. I'm sorry." He slowly approached him.

 

"I could of been fuckin' her brains out, instead you just mosey on in here like you own the damn place." you carefully came behind him, grasping his arm.

 

"You apologize to her right now" his voice boomed off the walls.

 

"Y/n, i'm very sorry" he began to plea.

 

"On your damn knees" you looked up at a fuming Negan before returning the gaze to a kneeling Mike.

 

"It's okay, really. You didn't do anything." the man stood up before shuffling the meals into the room. A feeling of guilt washed over as you eyed the disheveled man. Negan watched over him like a hawk as he made his departure. "Kids an idiot anyway." 

 

He sat across from you at the glass coffee table. The meals steamed as you dug in.

 

"Robin and you seem pretty close. She treatin' you good?" he questioned.

 

“Yeah. She really give me 'cool mom' vibes. Really sweet lady” Negan sat back on the sofa as you shifted next to him.

 

“Be with me” he set his plate on the table, folding his hands in his lap.

 

“W-what'd you say?” the food on the glass suddenly felt heavy as you placed it down. You knew your skin was draped pink from your head to your chest.

 

"You could stay here, be a good girl for me. You wouldn't have to go out n' grab shit everyday. Wouldn't have to worry bout anyone doin' shit cause you'd be mine. No points to rely on. Only me." Doubt creeped back to your head.

 

"But I like scavenging, and I'm good at it. I-I mean, yes I wanna be with you, but I don't wanna be a waste either." Your face furrowed in defeat, feeling like this one opportunity is going to slip because you don't want to sit on your ass all day.

 

"You're a hell ofa woman." he contemplated for a moment. "Prove to me that you can be good on runs, and I'll let you continue to em'. Fuck up, and you're staying up here. Got it?" his eyebrows lifted, wrinkling his forehead.

 

"Got it" you gave a small smile in return to his words.

 

"Now come give Daddy some lovin'" a smirk formed as he reached out for you. 

 

Crawling over, his soft lips mets yours, just as they did earlier today. 

 

* * *

 

 

Your meals concluded, and the sun began to set. The moon shined through his windows, and was a bright contrast to the orange candle flames. You set the plate down on the glass, and stood up stretching. You hissed at the pain lingering in your side. Negan watched your every move, his gaze making you feel worried. You sat on your knees facing him again, snatching Lucille.

 

“You look good holding her sweetheart” you giggled, handing her back after a faux swing.

 

“And so do you” sitting back against the couch, head resting on your hand.

 

"Now we're feelin' feisty Doll, huh?" He placed her back against the couch, his attention turning back to you.

 

“First task is coming along tomorrow. It’s gonna be a small scavenge, top guys only, you’ll stay with me the whole time” _this was the chance to prove yourself._

 

“Okay, good” you crawled next to him, his arm instinctively draping over you. You two sat there in silence for a moment before he pecked your temple.

 

As your eyes grow heavy, you felt Negan move carefully against you. He slipped out and helped you over to his bed, tucking you in under the gray sheets.

 

“Goodnight y/n” he kissed your forehead.

 

As he started to walk away, and you grabbed his hand, dragging him back. He bent down, brushing your hair back. You sat up, hand reaching up to his face, pulling him towards you. He got the hint, kissing you softly. His scruff tickled your face, causing you to smile. You moved over, patting the bed in approval, and a smile broke. He crawled under the covers, cuddling you against him.

 

“Now it’s a goodnight.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next story there's gonna be some new familiar faces. Thanks for reading as always!  
> 


	4. Surprise

Soft kisses against your cheek made there way to your jaw line. You could feel scruff rubbing against your skin, tickling it. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you turned over to face a tired looking Negan. He kissed your forehead, pulling you into his soft, gentle grip.

 

You listened to the thump of his heart, and the small breaths he took in. You felt his chest rise and fall over and over…

 

“How’s bout we do some breakfast-in-bed?” his voice rumbled through his body.

 

“How about I cook you something?” you sat up on your elbow, gazing down into his eyes.

 

“Go ahead babydoll, show me what you got” he folded his hands behind his head.

 

“I’m warning you, I make a mean breakfast” you waved a finger as you got up from the bed.

 

Negan had a small kitchen in his room, consisting of a few cabinets, mini-fridge, and a counter top griddle. Rummaging through, you found some pancake batter activated with water.

 

_The last time I had this was the day the power shut off._

 

Adding a cup of water, you shook it for a minute as you looked around for sides, grabbing bacon and strawberries in the process. You let the pancake mix settle for a moment so you could wash and cut the berries. You poured the batter into 4 circles on the griddle, the bacon sizzled and cracked beside them.

 

 _You felt his eyes staring._ You bent over to grab the maple syrup,  taking longer than necessary. 

 

“Damn" you could hear the smile in his voice "I see you teasin’ me babygirl” his words went straight to your core. Ignoring it _for the time being_ , you stood back up and  neatly platted the food. You carried it over to the bed on the oak tray that you took from his counter. You set it in his lap, then crawled next to him.

 

“Why thank you, I must say I love some quality service” HIs grin remained on his lips.

 

“Eat up, I can't have you dyin’ on me” you cut a piece of pancake, holding the fork up to his mouth. Keeping eye contact, he slid the piece off with his teeth. He moaned, tossing his head back.

 

“Holy shit these are good” he returned the favor and cut some pancakes up for you.

 

As the two of you finished up, you discussed the plan for today. Simple run to town, looking for medicine and food, no big deal. Kissing one last time before your departure, he said he'd meet you in an hour downstairs. You got to your room, and took a shower. Drying off, you styled your hair quickly and got dressed for the day. The thought had crossed your mind It was starting to get colder out, and you needed a new jacket.

 

As your mind drifted away thinking about a toasty jacket, a knock at the door brought you to your feet. Opening it, Simon stood on the other side.

 

“Y/n, the warrior, how are you?”

 

“What's wrong” you put your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.

 

“I came here to formally apologize for my actions as of late.” he stood there with his hands on his hips.

 

_Was he serious?_

 

“Um, okay, I'm sorry I tried to murder you”

 

He held out his hand, and you shook. Forgiving felt human. It felt nice.

 

“Let's move on, make a fresh start, okay? Now I know that's not the only reason you're here.” you said bluntly.

 

“You needed a new walkie, so here it is” he handed it to you, and he started to stroll away “oh and also, before I forget. Don't be afraid if people kneel for you” with that he closed the door before any further questions could be asked.

 

_I thought they only kneel for him…_

 

Attaching the radio to your waist, you found your way downstairs. You must have showed up a little late to the party because Negan was standing on a table talking. You could see him swinging Lucille around, pointing.

 

“You all will respect her, and if you don't. Oh you won't want to see what the hell happens when you don't. It'll be peepee pants city up in here if even one of you tries to cross her. You saw what happened to Nick with the small dick, so I suggest everyone be on their best fuckin' behavior around her. Now get the hell back to work.”

 

He concluded his speech and everyone got back to what they were doing. You couldn't help but thinking he was talking about you in there. Your feet stepped over to him in a calm fashion.

 

“Negan, what were you talking about just now?” you grabbed his forearm, staring in his eyes.

 

“It's what I just said darlin', no one's gonna disrespect you because you're mine” his voice was little raspy. You felt a blush creep up on your cheeks, hand letting go, falling to your side.

 

“Get in the car honey, I'll be there in a minute.” he lightly slapped your behind, not caring who saw. You were guided by Simon to a black van that himself, and Dwight were also riding in. Negan came shortly after you got in, and you took off.

 

The roads were empty for the most part. Roamers here and there, broken down cars were nothing new either. That was the scenery. Dead.

 

After the quiet ride, everyone stepped out of the vehicle.

 

“Y/n you stay close to me, understand?” nodding, you and Negan entered the pharmacy, grabbing all of the medicine you possibly could, shoving them in your large bags quickly. You had thought he probably didn't do many runs considering he has hundreds of other people to do that for him. But this was different. 

 

A rattle from the closest caught his attention. He counted down.

 

“3...2...1” you opened the door slightly, and blackened fingers snaked out.

 

“Let that dead prick out” he drew Lucille up over his shoulder.

 

You swung open the door, and stood back, hand on gun. The walker limped out, snapping. That quickly ended after a swift hit to the head. Your eyes peered into the closet.

 

“It's our lucky day, good thinking there daddy” you found 4 guns on the top shelf, along with stronger medication. You had guessed that person was in there awhile.

 

“Daddy, huh?” your body froze for a moment.

 

“I h-hope you don't mind, I didn't mean it” your innocent eyes met his dark ones. He moved closer to you and tucked your hair behind your ear.

 

“I think you did mean it, otherwise you wouldn't have said it. I do not mind one bit princess” he bent down to be face to face with you “I love it” he kissed your forehead and stood up.

 

As the two of you walked out to go unload the supplies, a clothing store caught your attention across the street.

 

“Hey I'll be back in a minute, I need to go do something.” you threw the bag in the trunk before he could say anything.

 

You ran across, and opened the door slowly. The clicking of your tongue echoed as you checked to see if any of the dead would appear from the racks of clothing. It was clear for now.

 

You walked around for a moment, looking for the coats. You ran into the scarves first, and figured you could get a new one since it was here. A red one stuck out, but not for you. _For Negan._ You grabbed it and wrapped it around your neck. A black scarf was more your style, but there weren't any left. You looked over the display, finally seeing the coats. Stepping over the clothes on floor, an olive-army green jacket caught your attention. You started to take it off the hanger, but your ears heard something else. Grabbing it, and putting it on quickly, you pulled out your gun.

 

“Guys? This isn't funny.”

 

No reply. No walker either.

 

“Turn around and drop the gun”

 

You turned around with your hands up. Your jaw almost hit the damn floor.

 

“Y/n?” she dropped the long katana she held down to her side.

 

“Michonne?”

 

Dropping weapons, you ran into each other's embrace.

 

_It's been a long time since you've seen your best friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading!


	5. Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might be making changes, I don't know yet, so enjoy!

 

“You're alive” she stood back, eyeing you up and down, grinning.

 

“How have you been? You look good considering the circumstances”

 

“Likewise. We have a place. Alexandria. What about you? I saw others outside” she peaked around to look out the window. An overwhelming amount of excitement came over you, not just because she's alive.  _ Because this means there's others too. _

 

“Yeah, I'm set up at the Sanctuary. I was on my own for a while before them.” you turned to see they were almost finished loading. 

 

“Did you say the Sanctuary, like as in Negan?” her brows furrowed as her attention turned back to you. 

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“Y/n are you sure that's safe? We just took down one of there stations a few weeks ago. Those people were violent.” concern ran through her voice, worry drifted into your mind.

 

“Aren't we all violent?” you picked up your gun, slipping it into the holster. 

 

“Just be careful. If you need a place to stay, Alexandria is always open to you.” she smiled, embracing you once more before you made your departure. 

 

_ She was set up somewhere (that seemed nice by the way she presented it), hopefully they have supplies there, maybe for trade. _

 

You slipped out the door and ran back to the van. 

 

“Sorry, I needed a new coat” you grinned at Negan “Oh! And” pulling the red scarf over your head, and placing it over his “this is for you, it's chilly and I thought it would look good against the black” adjusting it a bit, a small smile spread across his lips, his tongue darted out striding across them. He took a light hold to your chin, pulling you into a kiss.  

 

“Damn straight it looks good” you rested your hand in his throughout the rest of the silent ride, squeezing it ever so often.

 

* * *

 

The rusted car rattled as you reached your new found home.

 

The four of you grabbed bags full of medicine, carrying them upstairs. When you reached the small pharmacy room you began to unpack, and stock the pills and liquids. Dwight and Simon dropped their bags down on the counter and left. You mumbled to yourself.

 

“Thanks for all the help guys, deeply appreciated” 

 

Unknown to you, Negan overheard by the way he turned back in the hallway, letting himself in the cramped room.

 

“I told them to leave it, so don’t get your panties in a bunch darlin” He moved next to you, invading your personal territory, like usual. You stopped, turning to face him. 

 

“I know I probably have better things to fuckin’ do than sit and put away some Mucinex, but I thought we could get some quality time” his southern dialect was thick as he leaned. You eyed his smiling lips before returning to the bags in front of you. 

 

“Well you can start by unpacking this and separating the medication. Probiotics in this pile, and antibiotics here” 

 

Negan ambled behind, brushing against your ass ever so slightly. He began working and the room fell quiet. 

 

“Well shit my dear, I hate awkward silence, so let me ask you” you could cut the tension with a knife as he moved closer to you “Who were you talkin’ to in that store today?”

 

The color drained from your body, muscles tensing. 

 

_ I thought he didn’t see. _

 

“She was just looking for food” 

 

“Was she really, or was she someone that you're workin’ with on the down low?” He turned to you again, his words and attitude changed suddenly.

 

“Her name is Michonne. We were best friends for 13 years before all this. We did  _ everything _ together, school, work, even lived together before she was married. I was the maid of honor at her wedding. I thought she was dead, and to find out after all this time she’s not? It was a shock, I admit _. _ But I’m not working with her in some damn plot against you. What I do know is, is she said your people, are  _ dangerous.  _ She wouldn’t say that for shits and giggles” your voice rang through the concrete room. A shift in Negan eyes made your heart race.

 

“What the fuck” he rubbed his brow, then placed both his hands on the counter, leaning forward, looking down at his boot covered feet. “She's from Alexandria, lady with the dreads, right?” his voice was quiet and low.

 

“Why does that matter to you where she’s from?” you stepped closer.

 

“Because they killed my men” He stood up “an ass load of em’, and I simply cannot have you talkin’ with her if that is the case, so let me ask you again Y/n. Is she from Alexandria?” Negan’s anger seemed to turn into something else. Something you couldn’t read.

 

“Yeah, she is” you whispered, second guessing yourself.

 

“See? That was all I was askin’ for, a little cooperation to keep the process movin” he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him “You do not ever speak to them unless I tell you too, that’s final. Got it?”

 

“Got it” you stared into his dark eyes blankly.

 

A smile and small chuckle came from him. He kissed your forehead, and it took everything in you to not knock him on his ass.

 

“I’ll be gone tomorrow, and so will most of my men. I don’t want you out there yet, so I’m asking you to stay here, watch over for me” His grin added fuel to your raging fire.

 

“Okay. No problem.” you said coldly.

 

Putting the last of the medication away, you stormed off, not speaking to him for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

  
  


You woke up at 9 o’clock the next morning. Everything was lonely the night before. Reminded you of the times you spent in your car, with your stuffed donkey who stared at you as you ate. You weren’t going to let Negan tell you what to do. You’re a grown woman who could certainly hold her own. 

 

Turning the walkie on, you waited for signals from someone. Soon enough DJ’s voice crackled through the speaker. 

 

_ “Moving out in one hour, all assigned units please meet in the garage immediately”  _

 

You threw on your boots, and headed for the garage. DJ was standing at the end of the stairs. He suddenly got on one knee. 

 

“Stand up, I’m not having people do that crap” He tumbled to stand, bowing instead. “Where’s Negan”

 

“He said I can’t let you go any further than this” he stood up.

 

“That wasn’t my question, but okay. And I’m hungry, how am I supposed to get breakfast” you stood with your hands on your hips. 

 

“Ma'am I'm really not supposed-”

 

“Move, now” you said cutting his sentence short. 

 

“I’m sorry ma’am” he stepped out of your way.

 

“Thanks” you glanced back at him as you strolled away. Being close to him had its perks, you guessed. DJ’s back was to you, so your feet sprinted to the garage. There was a schedule posted for what cars will be in use, who’s in those cars, and the location they’ll be set up at. The sheet said they’d all be meeting again in the evening at the ‘disclosed location’.

 

A moving truck was going, ‘ _ strictly for storage’ _ , from what the neatly printed paper stated. 

 

_ Seems like a perfect hiding spot.  _

 

Creeping outside, you eyes danced over the tall, devilish man as he gave orders. The way he moved when he spoke sent chills through your body. You knew exactly why all these people listened when he talked.

 

_ Good thing he has their attention. _

 

Your eyes set on the large white truck that was only inches away. You lifted the door enough to slide into the back, closing it gently behind you. Hiding behind some boxes, you braced yourself for the ride to come...

 

* * *

  
  


The voices of men passing the truck from time to time reassured you that no one died yet. 

 

One voice in particular caught your attention. Simon. The truck had come to a rough stop. 

 

“Rick and the gang should be here within the hour. When they arrive we take them, load up their weapons, then we introduce em’ to the big man. He'll make his appearance coming out of the RV, where he is now. We got Daryl boy, Michonne, and the other few already waiting. The process shouldn't take long if they cooperate. No one kills them, Negan wants them all alive and well. Listen to orders carefully.”

 

Your heart raced as you listened his words. 

 

_ What the hell is he doing?  _

 

Luckily for you only the rope was holding the door shut. You slipped your hand through the tight crack, loosening the knot. Pushing the door upwards, you peaked your head out and looked around. The men were occupied in their own conversations. Turning left you immediately got sight of the RV, you jumped out of the truck carefully.

 

Eyes darting around, the coast was clear, so you made a beeline for the old vehicle. 

 

Your hand rapidly knocked, fist full of anxiety. 

 

His heavy boots approached the door momentarily, then he swung it open. The sly look on his face immediately turned to a mix of confusion and anger.

 

“What in the holy hell are you doing’ here?” he leaned back, balancing himself on Lucille.

 

“I could ask you the same thing. And the short answer is, to stop whatever you’re doing” You squinted up at him as the sun blinded you, right foot balancing on the first step. You noticed he was wearing the red scarf you got him.

 

“Get in here and sit down, doll” he stood back letting you barely brush past him. Sitting at the old kitchen table, hands folded in front of you, he closed the door, locking it.

 

Making his way towards you, he took a harsh breath in. He placed Lucille next to him, and leaned back in the seat, ready to hear your plea. 

 

“Listen Negan, I know something went down with these people that cost the lives of your men, but please don’t slaughter-”

 

“I’m only gonna kill one of em’, sweetheart” he interrupted. “Make an example, and ensure they know the Saviors are not some pussy’s that sit back and have Rick the prick run the show.” his eyes stared into yours, his words rang in your ears.

 

“Okay.” you knew there was no changing his mind as his eyes scanned you. It only seemed somewhat fair, considering they killed his men. There were questions your mind conjured up, but you thought it was better not to ask, just accept. Standing up from the table you stretched, cracking some bones to release the tension you felt throughout your body. 

 

“Just...Just don’t kill her. Please.” with that you walked to the bathroom, closing the door. You leaned against the wall, sighing heavily. Michonne’s words creeped back into your head.  _ “Those people are violent.” _

 

Was she right? Are they all sincerely violent? I mean hell, do you not remember the way they introduced themselves? Your heart started to race as you second guessed your decisions of staying. Maybe you were wrong to give them a chance. Maybe you were better on your own. Tears were trickling down your skin, dampening the collar of the shirt you wore. 

 

A tiny sliver in the door appeared.

 

“Can I come in?” Negan’s voice was soft.

 

“Yeah.” you kept you vision focused straight ahead, not wanting him to see you in a vulnerable state.

 

“Doll, I didn’t mean to make you upset” He crouched down “I’m just trying to take care of business as usual, and I can’t have some other damn group walkin’ all over us.” You didn’t look at him. “Listen honey, I know you’re upset with me right now, but I won’t hurt her. I’m sure if she's your friend, and she made it this long, i’m sure she’s a bad ass just like you” His leather gloved hand rubbed your cheek, and he stood back up. 

 

Your eyes felt swollen as you stared up at him. It sounded fucked up knowing someone was going to die, but at least it wasn’t her.

 

* * *

  
  


The RV felt difficult to escape from that evening. Word on the street, the group is carrying a sick woman. Some smartass was driving and they threw him with the others they’ve already ‘caught’. 

 

You had stepped outside into the chilly breeze, looking over the tall, beige grass field. There was a particular truck that drew your attention because you realized it wasn’t listed. Listening to this wind wisp in your ears, it carried the sound of walkers nearby, distracting any thoughts of the truck. A ladder lead to the roof of the RV, you trudged up to get a better view. 

 

“Holy shit!” immediately crawling up, your eyes studied the herd. It wasn’t a large one, but enough to take out half the group at a minimum. Fumbling with your radio, you ripped it from your tight pocket. “All units be advised, there’s a swarm comin’ in from the south east, get on vehicles to spot.” with that guns raised. Firing a few shots into the field, you only struck one walker. The RV door flew open, shaking you as it slammed on the siding.

 

“Y/n, Damn it, get in here now!” he shot out the door, then brought his attention back to you.

 

Your legs quickly moved down the metal ladder as the rotten corpses were stumbling towards the group. 

 

Tripping up the step into the RV, Negan grabbed you, and dragged you in. There was a deafening scream that come from behind you, and it was an all too familiar sound.  **The sound of teeth chomping down into muscles, flesh, and bone** _.  _

 

“Fucking fuck! We’re gonna lose those fuckers because of this.” he harshly snatched the door shut. “Everyone roll out to the next stop 3 miles over. We split up from there. You find them and you bring them to me.” he threw his radio on the table as he sprinted to the driver seat, turning the large vehicle on. He sped away, nearly running over roamers in the process. 

 

Steadying yourself enough to stand, you stumbled to the passenger seat, plunking down on the worn cushion. 

 

“Close call” it was momentarily silent before you regained your thoughts “What’s that black truck? The square one, looked like it had some bullet holes in it. Didn’t see it listed today.” you lifted your shirt slightly to check the stitched skin causing you some discomfort.

 

“It’s nothing important, just storage” his hazel eyes kept forward on the road. 

 

“Well obviously it's something, or you wouldn’t be actin’ like that” you leaned back in the chair staring at his stern expression. His hands clenched the wheel tightly. 

.

“Are they in there? Michonne? Her people?” He continued driving silently. “Oh my god, they are in there.” sitting back in your seat, you rubbed your temple. “She’s gonna hate me”

 

* * *

 

 

Shortly after the herd attack, Negan’s men found the people from Alexandria wandering in the woods. Night had fallen, headlights acted as the only source of light at that point. You watched as they were lined up in a semicircle, all on their knees.

 

You immediately eyed the black truck from before. Your fear came true as people were thrown from the vehicle, including Michonne. These people looked terrified, and the woman looked incredibly sick.

 

Negan didn’t say a word as this took place, just a blank stare. Simon had made his little introduction before Negan had stepped out. 

 

You crawled to the front of the RV, peering out the passenger window. 

 

Michonne’s eyes met yours. Her face scrunched up, head tilting. You shook your head ‘no’. It was a way of saying you had nothing to do with his decision. 

 

He stood there and lectured them for a few minutes. Suddenly he raised Lucille, crashing it down onto a man’s skull. Bowing your head, you looked at your lap, unsure as to what to say or do. 

 

Negan’s reasoning for doing this was valid. He’s only killing one of their men, in exchange for the many they lost, right? Trying to verify it to yourself was becoming harder to do.

 

His speech lasted for another hour before he pulled a man with curly brown hair, and a beard from the group. Assuming by the looks of him, he lead the group. Sweat and tears coated the strangers face. A streak of blood was strung across his cheek. 

 

Your eyes widened as you watched Negan pick a teenage boy from the group, laying him down on the ground, arm out. You sprung on your feet as he bent down, handing the man a hatchet. 

 

Drawing your weapon from your waistband, you carefully opened the door, slipping out. This needed to end  **now** . All of his men clearly shifted, standing upright, all eyes on you. You walked to the adult, kneeling next to him.

 

“Put the axe down” 

 

He was shaking, snot running from his nose as he gasped for air. 

 

“Don’t fucking kill anyone else from  _ our  _ group, do I make myself clear?” 

 

It was obvious that Negan was staring a hole through your head, as the image of him was in the corner of your eye.

 

He dropped the hatchet. Grabbing the boys hand. You stood up, looking at the line of people. 

 

“There's no point of fighting with the living while all these dead fucks are walkin’ around. You remember today, all of you. The way you’re feeling right now. No point of doing this all over.” You turned on the heels of your shoes, shooting a dirty look to a very angered Negan. 

 

You nodded to his men with a stern face before hopping in Simon’s ride. 

 

Morning was fast on the heels of everyone. The clock in the car read 5 a.m.

 

Ne was soon finished after that, keeping his promise. Only one person. 

 

His stride was hurried in the rear-view mirror. The rear driver door swung open, he tossed Lucille in quickly before crawling in front.

 

The engine revved as the key turned in the ignition. He lead the way, his men following close behind.

 

“Your duty from now on will be teaching the kids at the Sanctuary. You’ll start tomorrow 11 a.m. sharp, Robin will explain, and show you the class.” Slowly, you turned to face him. 

 

“I’m not doing runs anymore?” you spat.

 

“Hell fuckin’ no.” he had the same damn stink eye from the RV hours earlier. “Did you think your little fuckin’ save-the-day moment was gonna fly? Y/n my dear, I must say, I really liked you before your damn stunt out there, but that shit doesn’t fly. You’re lucky I don’t have you thrown in a damn cell for a week to teach you a lesson.” his words were cold. There was an anger that burned deep inside you. How could he say something like that? You began to second guess yourself, for what felt like the thousandth time. You didn’t even notice the tears that streamed from your eyes. 

 

The ride back was silent, not one more word was shared between the two of you from that point. You stepped into the old factory before anyone could stop you. Finding your way back to your room, you peeled off your outfit and showered, hoping for some form of comfort. After spending the day preparing for tomorrow, you headed up for an early night in. 

 

There was a feeling of uselessness that washed over you. The soft fabric of your stuffed donkey brushed against your arm as you sat on the soft mattress. Smiling to yourself you remembered the life that once was. It was a gift from your mom when you were a child. You lost her shortly after this all began.

 

“I wish I knew what to do Mom.” you blurted out “I don’t know how or why I was brought here, but I know you used to said ‘Everything happens for a reason’, but why is this happening. For me to kill myself? To be thrown in a cell like some animal? I mean...My best friend hates my guts now, I’m sure. This guy I like…” you paused “well used to like, hates me too. So what’s the purpose of all this?” you sobbed silently momentarily “I hope you’re okay now. I miss you a lot. Maybe we'll see each other again someday. Maybe sometime soon.” your eyes remained on the donkey, like he was gonna blurt out the right answer. 

 

The sound of screams, and voices over your speaker broke you out of self-loathing.

**_“There are walkers on level zero. Fence broke. Casualties expected.”_ **

 


End file.
